Chic Chic Institute has taken out this prestigious award, a world-record fifth year in a row!
Congratulations to our clinicians for making this happen. This proves that we are just more than a group of sadistic hacks performing unnecessary lobotomies on innocent civilians.
To celebrate, we're offering new patients great deals for the next round of experimental lobotomies. Go directly to your nearest award-winning Chic Chic Mental Asylum for some first-class student treatment and check yourself out of this reality today!
Head injury getting you down?
Mind worms?
Voices making you suicidal?
Come to Chic Chic Mental Asylum today and be assessed for free. Let our doctors probe you without obligation. Lie back and take in our electro-therapy. It’s guilt-free because the electricity we use comes from carbon-neutral sources. Now that’s what we call sustainable mental health!
Unable to check yourself in? Don’t worry, parents and spouses can do it for you without a doctor’s recommendation!
At Chic Chic, we leave the rubber gloves off because we care.
This month we have a special on wives. We call it the Husband Holiday Offer! Got a superstitious wife or one with an inexplicable disease of the mind? Maybe she’s just a nuisance and won’t shut the fuck up. Whatever the reason, send her our way. You’ll get the break you deserve, and she’ll return to you all shiny and new.
Long stays welcome! Souvenir bite sticks are yours to keep!
We haven’t forgotten the ladies either. At Chic Chic, you can commit your husband for:
Greediness
Deranged Masturbation
Egotism
Mansplaining and Masturbation
…and much much more masturbation-associated things!
Can’t find a reason to commit a loved one? No problems! Send us the symptoms, and we’ll produce a diagnosis. Everyone is welcome at Chic Chic!
‘Clean Surgical Instruments Used Frequently.’
Everyone needs a holiday. Tell us about your dream holiday, and you’ll go in the draw to win a lifetime supply of Valium. Pop one of our pills and sail to Anywhere Paradise in no time, for a whole year, free!
What about the kids?
Book in the next five minutes, and we’ll take in your thankless, Godless children for one dollar more. We’ve a Priest waiting to turn your child around right now!!!
Member of UMAIN (United Mental Asylums Institute National)
Choose Chic Chic Mental Asylum To Resolve Your Next Psychosis